Taming Our Limiting Beliefs

I work with an executive who is making six figures and supporting her family as a single mother, and has a value around stability, but she hates her job but really believes that she can’t leave it because of her family. Her perception is that she cannot make a VP salary at any other company. This is what she says stands in in her way of moving into fulfilling work.

Is this true? She asks… No, in watching the labor market and knowing her skills, education and background. My career coach instinct says this is not true. But we agree it is her limiting belief.

Of course, people who live in glass houses….

I also have limiting beliefs. I have wrestled constantly with my beliefs around being a working mother. I have limiting beliefs about my freedom being self-employed vs working inside a company.

Limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we do not think, do or say the things that they inhibit.

We may have beliefs about rights, duties, abilities, permissions and so on. Limiting beliefs are often about ourselves and our self-identity. The beliefs may also be about other people and the world in general.

In any case, they sadly limit us.

Let’s look at eliminating beliefs and fear. Here are some simple steps:

1. Normalize your fear. Everyone has gremlins, inner critics and limiting beliefs. We all have them. This is what they sound like. These are the kinds of things they say to you. They say ‘you’re never going to get a job this good’ or ‘at your age, who’s going to hire you’. Or you can never make that kind of money doing xyz.

2. Shine a light on the critic, the limiting belief. When we shine a light on our particular variety of those critics and exactly what they’re saying to us we have some power around them and we have some choice around them. She could decide to stay at that job and that’s an absolutely okay choice, but choosing to stay and honoring her value of stability above all else is now a choice because she’s shined a light on the limiting belief and she’s named it and there’s power in that. She can powerfully choose that for herself and her family.

3. Learn how to quiet the gremlin. How do we move past them or around them? How do we work with them? I don’t think you get rid of them. They tend to diffuse when they get a little air time.

FIELD WORK: FIELD WORK: What your signature inner critic sound? What is the belief that you’re holding? How do you know if that’s true? Wanna chat it through? Give me a call.

You Don’t Have to Swing at Every Pitch

My dad took me to lots of Blue Jay baseball games when I was growing up. I am not a baseball expert, but I do understand an important element of the game: deciding if/when to swing. The pitcher throws and the batter has to decide whether it is a good pitch. It’s coming across the plate and if it’s in the sweet spot and the batter knows he/she can hit it: swing! If it isn’t right or the pitch is poor the batter won’t chance it.

How many times in our lives are we presented with the opportunity to swing at, or step back from, what life sends our way? The pitches are always coming – career opportunities, relationships, professional development, family, education, etc. and your job as batter for your life is to know what to swing at and when. To understand what your sweet spot is, what an ideal pitch is for you. A lot of opportunities come up and of course you want to swing at the right ones, the ones that get you the furthest into the outfield. Sometimes, like in the real game of baseball, you don’t get all the time in the world to decide and timing is everything. If you hesitate, you strike out; if you are too aggressive, same result.

So, how do you know when to swing? Professional ball players spend years honing their instincts to the game and they are pros because of all that practice, commitment, and skill has made what they do so well appear natural. As professionals in our own right, we need to spend time doing the same thing. Instead of swinging bats and throwing balls, we are always re-evaluating our values, visions, and goals. We ask ourselves: What do I value the most? Then we add and delete these values from our “Non-Negotiable” career planning list as our life evolves. Such a list will support you in your decisions, provide you with ready and familiar knowledge for when it is swing or step aside time. You will be ready and know what to do because you have taken the time to put in writing what it is exactly you are looking for based on what matters to you most. A non-negotiables list prepares you to recognize the “perfect pitch.”

Non-negotiables might include: hours you would like to work, work environment, and location of position. People come up with vastly different non-negotiables like: I want to be able to bike to work; I want to make ‘x’ amount of money; I want to be able to travel; I want to have creativity in my work; I want to work for a big company; I want to work for myself. Think in terms of what you want (not what you don’t want) and create your list in the positive. Our time is too important to spend on what we don’t want and neither does this focus help us clarify what we do. It keeps us thinking in the negative which is the last place it serves us to be.

Whether you are searching for a new career, job, professional opportunity, or just want to shake life up a little, start with your non-negotiables. Then get ready to swing.

Riding in an Elevator with Your Future CEO

Just suppose sometime in the near future you are riding and in strides (because, if you’ve never met one, that’s exactly what they do: stride) the CEO of a company you really wanted to work for. You have the next few floors to tell him or her who you are and what you want to do. What would you say?

Thinking about your “elevator pitch” will help you in many different career arenas including networking and will also support you in answering the interview question, “Tell me about yourself.”

Your Personal Marketing Statement (or Elevator Pitch) should include the following 3 things:

1. What you are looking for in the way of employment?

2. What are the skills that you possess that would relate to this job?

3. What specific background you bring to the position?

Your elevator pitch should be a brief and valuable statement you always have at the ready so that when you meet potential employers, participate in information interviews, or are speaking with other new contacts you present as a focused, clear and visionary person. The other wonderful thing about an elevator pitch is that it is by nature dynamic. As you evolve and it evolves with you. Your career will likely shift in focus as time goes on, if not change completely at least once along the way, so be sure to get back into your elevator scenario throughout your career and revise your pitch as your work experience, needs and desires change.

You have an exciting, limitless future ahead of you. Take it one elevator at a time and fully live the ride. Going up!